Anguished English

• In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
• In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside tub.
• In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
• In a Lepzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
• In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
• In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
• In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11a.m. daily.
• In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of chambermaid.
• In a Japenese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
• In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.